My Dog Wears Diapers

We’re getting closer to Zane’s arrival, so we’ve reached that consternating point all new parents face: putting together some of the bigger critter containment devices you got in showers. I decided to document our journey to assemble one such contraption—a baby “jumper,” which is basically no more than a plastic seat, various hygienic baby distractions, and a few rubber bands.

It’s all so very easy, as you can see to the left. Seriously, you open the box, and this mess all kind of vomits out at one time, which may be apropos. That said, it doesn’t inspire one to pick up tools and get to constructin’. But with enough Elmer’s glue and duct tape, one can do anything, I’ve learned, so we girded ourselves and set to work.

The instructions were chock full o’ illustrations and relatively clear:

However, one illustration left me a little perplexed. However, a great discussion ensued about my new-found belief that Zane should be allowed to have a perm:

Best. Hair. Ever. Moreover, I’m now entirely convinced that said baby mans the Fisher Price consumer assistance lines, which is awesome. I’m gonna call up and ask about conditioners.

The baby jumper? Yeah, it got completed; we’ll see if the tyke likes it.