My Dog Wears Diapers

I’m somewhat involved in social media, thanks to my job; you can find me on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and a few of the lesser-known services. Unlike many in my industry, I don’t claim to be an expert, and I make it a point to disengage myself quite often. I have seen a disturbing image of the future, and it involves me, sitting alone in a basement, clad in week-old pajamas, twittering away with Cheetos-stained fingertips.

Still, I’ve found some of these services to be valuable; Facebook, in particular, has helped me reconnect with old friends and distant family. It’s also helped me connect to those with whom I have constant contact—my wife, for example. But, as it turns out, we don’t talk much on Facebook. Why? We’re married.

But that didn’t stop Facebook from suggesting the following:

I chuckled when I saw that, and I posted it on my wall for everyone to see. I think all my friends—save, perhaps, the one gentleman who thought it a good way to avoid all those “personal feelings associated with females”—saw the humor.

Facebook, however, wasn’t joking. My flippant treatment of their suggestion concerned the folks down at FB Central, for the following day I was greeted with this:

Apparently, it’s not enough that I should talk to my wife on Facebook. I now need to make it better for her. Next thing you know, it will tell me I need to call my mom more often and send better Christmas cards to my brother.

Nuts to you, Facebook. You can’t tell me what to do!

Important update!

The healing continues over at Facebook. Five days after this post was originally published, my personal FB counselor decided he/she couldn’t take it anymore and suggested the following:

Do they think I haven’t had a meaningful conversation with my wife in five days? Or, is it that I haven’t had a single conversation with her in five days? I just don’t know. Give me a few more days, and Facebook will—I’m certain—offer more guidance.