My Dog Wears Diapers

I am a humble writer of words, and I only occasionally claim to be the smartest guy around, so I feel little shame in being confused by doctors and such. On the other hand, I do have a healthy dose of pride. Unfortunately, I guess I still look like a dum-dum.

The photo above is of one of our first ultrasounds, and I’ve used my fancy photoshoppin’ skills to point out a couple of labels I believe were entirely unnecessary. Perhaps, if I had viewed the screen and exclaimed, “Honey, you’re sprouting peas” or “Look at the size o’ that critter,” these would be warranted.

Oh, I know these things can be confusing. My reaction to our first experience in the booth was a series of questions, including—but not limited to:

• Won’t she cramp up in that position?
• What’s that stuff you’re … ?
• Am I looking through a tunnel?
• When does “The Dark Side of the Moon” start playing?

Still, I didn’t think I needed some labels telling me where the baby was and that objects may be bigger than they appear. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate the help, but sheesh …