My Dog Wears Diapers

Contrary to what the title may suggest, this post is borne of my frustration with the great spigot in the sky. The summer of 2009 will go down as being marked by one of the worst droughts in Texas history. But I, single-handedly and without provocation by personal acquaintance or government authority, ended it.

My solution? I bought a motorcycle. Roughly 36 hours later, it started raining buckets. If you’re thinking the two are unrelated, know this: I don’t have a car. Yeah, I gave mine to my wife—only after I sold hers. The motorcycle is my only transportation.

Here I was, thinking I was doing something good for the environment, my family’s finances, and my sanity (Psst! Don’t buy German automobiles.). That all may be true, but I was also doing something good for local vegetation and the farmers’ union. September was one of the wettest on record, and October looks to be no different.

Moreover, I had to start mowing the lawn again. Nuts to that.

So enjoy your green grass and generalized plant revival, South Texas, and don’t forget to send me a thank-you card. Just know that I intend to sell my old snow shoes to guarantee a white Christmas.