My Dog Wears Diapers

Bear Stearns? Check. AIG? Check. $700 billion to buy up troubled mortgages from equally troubled banking institutions around the country? Check. And where is this money coming from? That’s a darned good question, me thinks, one that has few pleasing—or even satisfactory—answers.

As such, I’ve already got a solution: corporate sponsorship. Just hear me out for a second. Doesn’t the “Wonderbread White House” have a nice ring to it? How about the “Pitney-Bowes Postal Service?” Use your imagination, folks, and the opportunities are limitless.

This is a simple solution. Instead of increasing taxes or allowing more foreign intrusion into our money markets and securities, let’s simply start selling naming rights. It’s all the rage, after all. And I’m willing to bet that you’d have a long list of companies lining up for the rights to some of Washington’s most famous structures.

I conjured up that idea during my morning coffee. Whaddya say, Uncle Sam? Not bad, eh?